A Voyage Through Planned Motherhood

First plane ride

hbbaby — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 03:14:30 +0000

We took Carter on his first big trip over the Christmas holiday, we flew out to California to visit family, the angel slept all the way there on the plane…passed out cold. What a doll. We schleped him to the LA Zoo, Huntington Beach and more. We even dipped his feet in the sand and surf. I think he may surf before he crawls. The trip was nice for the most part, I felt like we really bonded as a family. Staci and I shared the waking up duties, etc. And Carter helped us out by starting to sleep from Midnight all the way through to about 6-7 am. Thank you baby!

So, Carter it is…

hbbaby — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 01:41:19 +0000

We tossed out names, Atticus, Getty, we were pretty sold on one of those two, and then he was coming…what should we name him…out came the baby name book and the absurd ideas for names…”seriously? seriously you want to name him what?” and then, I awoke the morning he was to arrive, “What do you think about Carter?” “I like Carter she said, and that is weird because when I called my folks to tell them the news they were in the Jimmy Carter library and joked we should name him that…” “Well, then it’s a sign…Carter it is, Carter Kennedy” With a name like that, how can you go wrong? Speaking of names, we have the Mommy, momma debate going on…with two mommies what do you do? I had the funniest idea…I will be mommy and she will be Edamame? I like it, it might stick.Loving baby life…A

HE’S Here! He’s Here!

hbbaby — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 18:29:41 +0000

Well, not long after my last post, Oct. 22 to be exact, we got a call about a healthy baby boy ready to leave the hospital the next day would we like him. My partner called and I was at the Genius Bar at Apple with my Mac, phone wasn’t on…I finally get her call as I am driving, she is frantic….”WHY AREN’T YOU CALLING ME BACK?” She goes on to start explaining, so and so called from the bureau, he’s 2 days old, healthy, negative drug screen….blah blah blah, her voice becomes a Peanuts teacher voice…I YELL, SHUT UP! STOP TALKING, CALL THEM BACK AND SAY YES BEFORE THEY GIVE HIM TO SOMEONE ELSE! I mean, really, what is there to think about? We hang up, she calls me back…ok, they will call us tomorrow about what time we can go get him at the hospital. HOLY SHIT! We never thought we would get a baby, let a lone a 3 day old!Quick run to Target for all the last minute things we didn’t have yet because we had no idea if we were getting a 3 day old or a 3 year old…Onesies, Bottles, Sleepers, Pacifiers, Blankies, Rattles, Pack n play for downstairs… you name it we bought it. They showed up on the 23rd, car pulled up, my Partner went to the car as I took photos of the arrival. In came the tiniest baby in a carseat…she took him out, we signed papers, we were briefed (and I mean brief!) on his circumcision and umbilical cord, signed more papers and the worker was gone…10 minutes over, done…here we were with a 3 day old baby…scared…excited…S said, “Wanna hold him?” as she stood with a deer in the headlights look over her face…”Not yet, I need a minute.” I replied…it took a good day for the fear to wash over us. Fast forward to 2 months later, fear is mostly gone, we love this kid so much and are already moving forward with the long, long battle of legal work to make him ours. He coos, smiles, giggles, kicks, swats at dangling toys and has graduated from Newborn diapers to level 2. He has doubled in weight since our first day with him. He is healthy and thriving and we are so thrilled. So, life is different, in a good way. No more weekly AHL Hockey games, I work from home more, I schlep a very heavy infant carseat carrier around to fro stores as I shop…oh and I am in Target or Babies R Us at least, LEAST once a week. I have learned so much in the short two months…from bad plastic baby bottles (we have switched to Born Free, highly recommend it, we have some glass bottles from them and some plastic from them for traveling), to how to tuck a baby boy penis in the diaper the right way to prevent them from shooting urine out their diaper. TRUST me, you will not find that tip in ANY baby how to book. And we also realized that the book, “What to expect the first year” is all crap, CRAP I tell you…if you want a GOOD baby book get DR. Sears baby book, he is good. We also got his book on Attachment Parenting, which is good for anyone but especially for those adopting. Trust me, so far attachment has not been a problem, he is very cuddly.I hope to be here more often, as I have so much catching up to do.Thank you all for being patient!A

UPDATE

hbbaby — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:29:31 +0000

Well, so much has happened to bring us to this stage but it is a stage we have always considered. We are now licensed with the State of Wisconsin as Foster Parents. We are fostering to adopt. We have been licensed for a few weeks now and are anxiously awaiting a placement, one that will hopefully last a lifetime. In the mean time, we tidy up the childrens rooms, organize, add songs to the kids ipod, buy books, toys and the like…all in much anticipation for a match.

The Best Lullabies

hbbaby — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 20:41:40 +0000

I figure, if I will have to start listening to kids songs they may as well be ones I can stomach. In my itunes search I found the best lullabies by Rockabye Baby which are tinked out classics made into lullabies…my favorites are:Just Like Heaven – The CureSunday Bloody Sunday – U2Beautiful Day – U2One Love – Bob MarleyClocks – ColdplaySt Here Comes the Sun – BeatlesStrawberry Fields Forever – BeatlesYesterday – BeatlesWouldn’t it be Nice – BeachboysStairway to Heaven – Led ZepplinThey are way cool, I have to admit.Also I found a group called the Vitamin String Quartette that plays tons of renditions of great pop and rock songs like Madonna, Peter Gabriel, REM, all of our favorites and more.Check them out on itunes…the baby ipod is looking much better!

Long hard road

hbbaby — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:00:53 +0000

After going through the hoops for a private homestudy we realized it is very difficult to be your own agent. Meaning, searching without an agency for a child available for adoption on adoptuskids.org or the like. It is a full time job trying to fax homestudies to agencies, follow up, etc. The adoption process is very messed up, full of holes and errors and people working long, hard, over booked hours and yet, you cannot get through to anyone. I know it is not the case workers faults, its just a system that is overloaded and full of red tape and errors. And the children wait…as do we. We wait for them, they wait for us. Neither of us knowing who the other is yet. Now we have decided to go with our state agency. Initially we were told our private (and expensive) home study would be reused with the state, but it is not so. We are now going through the state process, more paperwork, more interviews, and now in the final stretch we find that before we can have a child placed with us we have to complete 12 – 3 hour courses. So now we are craming in 4 classes a week for the next 3 weeks, hoping to be done by the second week in August.The bedrooms are set and decorated. In our home lie toys, beds, cribs and car seats all awaiting a child or children. Since the age range we are open to is from infant to 7 years old we were required to purchase car seats and a crib just incase. It’s all part of the licensing for foster to adopt care. It’s sad to walk past empty rooms and see the crib and toddler beds each day…but exciting at the same time. Hopefully soon we will know more.

New Plan…

hbbaby — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 16:24:45 +0000

So, as I mentioned in earlier posts, attempt #3 was an early miscarriage, which put us on a holding pattern. Then, we were ready to try back up in January 2007, when I was told my titer for measles came back too low. Meaning, if I were to get pregnant and came into contact with someone with measles in the 3rd trimester, I could have a child with birth defects. Then I had an accident and tore my ACL. So putting extra weight via pregnancy is not a good idea.So we are starting the paperwork for foster/adoption. We are so excited at the idea of having children I cannot stand it! Tonight we have meeting #1 of 2 in our homestudy!

I know, it’s been awhile…

hbbaby — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 17:17:43 +0000

a long while. It has been hard to write when there is not much to write about. Since the miscarriage we decided to take the summer off of baby making. My schedule is crazy in the summer with travel for work and it is hard to schedule life around where you need to be when you are ovulating. Since then there have also been some things in my health that we have discovered. I have always known about my hypothyroid condition but now my cholesterol is very high. My doctor did not want to put me on cholesterol meds because I am trying to conceive but I weighed the facts and would rather get myself healthy than not take the meds. We figure I am no good to my partner or a child if I cannot live a healthy life, or live at all for that matter. Also, my doctor said I have Metabolic Syndrome, basically my genetics are so (thanks mom and dad) that I have naturally high cholesterol and risk becoming diabetic, as well as having a risk for developing Polycystic ovarian, something or other…ie, makes baby making more difficult. This summer we have been looking into foster care and or adoption. We debate out of the country, vs within the USA. There are so many factors at play here and we are just sort of clueless of what to do, where to start, what our options are financially as well as things that may limit us do to our sexual orientation. It’s all so frustrating considering that we have so much love, life and laughter to share…all things we know would be so much more meaningful and fun if we shared it with a child or children. So, updating is hard to do when you are discouraged and feel like there is no good news to report.God, I hope Novembers election goes our way…vote NO Wisconsin.

It’s been awhile…

hbbaby — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:35:27 +0000

a long while. We’ll there has not been much to report since the miscarriage. Granted it was a very early pregnancy, it was a pregnancy none the less. It’s a loss to us. It’s hard to see the good in it that others speak of…you know the part where everyone says, “The good news is that you got pregnant. Now you know you can.” Somehow it seems like a very small consolation prize. So, we have been left with the wonder of if we should keep “playing this game”. Should we keep going this route (Artificial Insemination) or should we stop trying and look into foster care or adoption. The thing that upsets us is that in both those avenues it would be one of us doing the initial adopting or fostering. There just seem to be so many hoops to jump through. Toying with the idea of going back to insemination, do we use the same donor? Do we think about fertility drugs? Do we do something more invasive and expensive like IUI? So many things to think about.The summer has been crazy busy, and it’s all for the best, keeps my mind off of things. But makes it all the harder to start back up on charting cycles and testing for ovulation, and for quiting caffiene.Who knows what will happen in the next few months. Who knows.

Bad News…

hbbaby — Mon, 22 May 2006 13:21:44 +0000

Second blood test confirmed that indeed I was pregnant but that I am miscarrying. The blood test is supposed to double every twenty-four hours and mine dropped from 37 to 18. I was told to expect a very painful period (which came today and is a doozy let me tell you!) and that I should not try IUI this month but to wait for my uterus to get back to normal, which it should be by next month.I feel like we have some decisions to make. How long do we want to try before we focus on other alternatives like foster care to adoption. Do we try both at the same time? How will I feel if I never conceive? Etc. Etc. I guess I can’t think too much about these things until I hear more from my doctor about what is going on with my body.You can’t help but wonder if it will continue though…will I keep miscarrying. Did I do something wrong…etc etc.