Second blood test confirmed that indeed I was pregnant but that I am miscarrying. The blood test is supposed to double every twenty-four hours and mine dropped from 37 to 18. I was told to expect a very painful period (which came today and is a doozy let me tell you!) and that I should not try IUI this month but to wait for my uterus to get back to normal, which it should be by next month.I feel like we have some decisions to make. How long do we want to try before we focus on other alternatives like foster care to adoption. Do we try both at the same time? How will I feel if I never conceive? Etc. Etc. I guess I can’t think too much about these things until I hear more from my doctor about what is going on with my body.You can’t help but wonder if it will continue though…will I keep miscarrying. Did I do something wrong…etc etc.
LGBT families out there, I thank you.My partner and I have been trying to conceive for over three months now. The process started last year actually, but the actual inseminations have been going on for the last 3. We are currently awaiting test results to see if we have a positive. This experience has made me very aware of the plight of LGBT families. How we have families of choice, that were not always easily obtained. It has humbled me and frustrated me. It has humbled me when i realize how difficult it actually is to become pregnant, how much of a miracle it really is that conception ever takes place. It has frustrated me when I see how some people conceive on accident or with very little thought. It frustrates me that our families of choice that are so very wanted come under such scrutiny.I watched the Rosie Cruise special on HBO and cried. It was so touching to see a community (albiet floating) where our children can be with other children like them. Where they can feel accepted. Where LGBT parents can talk openly and freely with others who “get it”. I wait for the day when we can walk our children to any given park or school and have the same experience. I think the day will come. We have wonderful people and organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign (http://www.hrc.org/) working for us. And we have wonderful LGBT families blogging and podcasting about thier lives.Until then, we have this virtual community through blogs (like http://www.mombian.com/) and podcasts (like http://gayparenting.thepodcastnetwork.com/) where when we reach out we touch each other as though we were right next to each other. I know that when I hear about your stories, I laugh, cry and melt. I feel your pain and joy as though you were all part of my intimate family, because in a way we all share this journey together. I am thankful for that.That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.Keep up the good work LGBT families. Years from now when our society is benefitting from the adult products of the 90′s-2000′s “Gayby Boom” the world will be a much better place. Our diverse, accepting, loving children, all products of loving LGBT individuals will leave their mark.Best wishes to you and yours,Anne & Staci
Let me start by saying that the amount of frustration I experienced by trying to decipher lines on an ovulation stick are nothing compared to my frustration trying to read lines on a pregnancy stick. You would think a positive would be easy to read…but truely you can be almost pregnant…there are degrees of it according to the pregnancy sticks. When you get the test line and a faint line accompanying it…it turns out that can possibly be pregnant…well, after 3 sticks that looked like that and no period I decided to go in for a blood test. I just found out that it is POSITIVE. My HCG level is 37 and anything over a 25 I guess is positive. BUT it could mean many things, it could be a tubal pregnancy, or god forbid, I could loose it before I even know it. I guess it is common for many women, especially those who are not trying and testing so often, to be pregnant and loose it before they ever knew they were pregnant. I have to go in saturday for a followup. Turns out the levels should double. Lets hope that is the case! Hope with me will you? Lets hope this positive stays positive.
Alright, so where was I? May 10, 2006
Oh, yeah…well I got a new laptop so of course I could not remember my password (to wordpress) and my old laptop just always remembered it. Now I have everything in my new laptop (a sweet tablet laptop might I add) so I should be better at this. Then again…I have nothing to report. We are on try number 3, the last drop of our initial sperm purchase and we are…waiting…as usual. Went in last week for insemination and should know soon if it took. If not we will have to purchase more sperm.Purchasing sperm, now there is a subject. The problem, other than the obvious “who do I pick” delimma, is HOW much to purchase. You don’t want to have to keep going to the bank, but then again you don’t want to have a crap load of swimmers left over.Keep your fingers crossed that the third time was a charm.